Thanks for unnecessarily making my already shitty one-hour commute a fucking ball-bending two plus hours long again today. I hate you, you shittily designed piece of shit.
No, when you start out with AIDS it's not too hard to top it.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Fuck you, Massachusetts Turnpike
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Driver's side cuntbag
On my way in to work this morning, my drive was extended from the normal one hour to a full two hours. Needless to say, by the end my nerves were frayed as fuck. So when a woman in her uppity cuntity BMW tried to get into my lane without signaling, I went a little berserk, yelling right at her "NO FUCKING WAY, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!" I screamed so loud I got an instant headache like ones you get when you drink a slurpee too fast. The woman looked terrified. She applied her brakes and then got into the lane directly behind me. She then made every turn I made, following me all the way into my parking garage. I couldn't keep my eyes off of my rearview mirror, trying to gauge if she was angry, crazy, a co-worker or all three. As we entered the garage my anger soon led to fear. Fear that not only might I have to look this woman in the eye when we exited our cars but also that she might ride up in the elevator with me. Fortunately, she parked on a different floor. This kind of thing has happened to me several times before though. Two weeks ago, anxious to get home, I tailgated some pussy who was doing the speed limit on the road leading to the street my house is on. I was flashing my lights and honking at him, being a total asshole. Not until we got about 100 yards from my street did I realize this could be a neighbor of mine. Sure enough, he turned into our street. I just kept on going right past the street as if I didn't live anywhere near there. Humiliated, I drove another 1/4 mile before I turned around and eventually skulked into my driveway much later than I would've been had I just been a pussy and drove the speed limit. So what have I learned? Nothing. I will continue to blow my fucking fuse every time someone fucks with me on the road. Maybe someday I'll do it to the wrong person and get shot or stabbed or beaten about the beautiful face and neck. Then I'll learn.
Not too drivey.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Another review of the funniest website of all-time.
Today's topic: How some fairy tales from two thousand years ago can have an impact on some fairy tails today. (Not too witty and beyond your comprehension of all that is witty.)
The following was taken from the homophobic Christian values website focusonthefamily.com, The article is reprinted here verbatim. My comments are in red (obviously)
Cause for Concern (Same-Sex Counseling)
Many who experience homosexual temptations and impulses are responding to the Gospel message that unwanted same-sex attractions can be overcome (Amazing choice of words there. The brilliant Mr. Show once had a skit that featured a gay rehab called 'overcome'. It was funny then and it's funny now. Why wouldn't the focus on the family writer just use another word? Umm, conquered or defeated maybe?)
by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts (tee-hee ANALysts)
Many who experience homosexual temptations and impulses are responding to the Gospel message that unwanted same-sex attractions can be overcome (Amazing choice of words there. The brilliant Mr. Show once had a skit that featured a gay rehab called 'overcome'. It was funny then and it's funny now. Why wouldn't the focus on the family writer just use another word? Umm, conquered or defeated maybe?)
by Focus on the Family Issue Analysts (tee-hee ANALysts)
Bowing (or bending over) to the forces of political correctness, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) in 1998 issued a position statement "rebuking" practices that are broadly referred to as "reparative therapy" for homosexuality. (Yes, that could be their only reason for rebuking those policies. It had to be political correctness and not in any way tied to the notion that it might be a bit inhumane to humiliate and physically force someone to fight what is in their nature.) In 2000, the APA affirmed this opposition to psychiatric treatment of reparative or conversion therapy. Holding the view that homosexuality is a normal variant of human sexuality, their concern was with groups who were motivated by the view that homosexuality is morally wrong and harmful to society. While the 1998 statement said that there are risks to such therapies, no evidence was offered to support this claim (Umm, maybe they assumed common sense might prevail, you fucking jackasses. Do you honestly need scientific studies to figure this out? You don't require any proof whatsoever of God or Jesus' existence yet this subject must have scientific validation? You don't even believe the overwhelming scientific evidence for the theory of evolution, why would anyone bother trying to convince you of anything with evidence ever again?)
What is evident, however, is that the American Psychiatric Association was simply agreeing with pro-homosexual activists (Of course they agree, the faggots can be very persuasive with their anal/oral torture techniques you know) and with the American Psychological Association, which had passed a similar, but broader, resolution in 1997. Here, the American Psychological Association claimed that treatment for unwanted homosexual behavior is harmful, unethical and unsuccessful. Of note, this resolution also supports the client's right to self-determination and autonomy – calling for psychologists to "respect the rights of others to hold values, attitudes and opinions that differ from their own." Clearly, this would include religious beliefs upholding the biblical view that God's created intent for sexual expression is limited to a monogamous, covenantal marriage relationship between one man and one woman. (Oooh, this is their big "Ah-ha!" moment, but it is meaningless because the APA is not denying this point. Sure you Christian assholes can have your opinion of God's intent for sexual expression- isn't it for a man and woman to shit on each other in the presence of no less than two farm animals?- but you don't have the right to force that belief on anyone else. Why can't you understand that?)
Significantly, both groups ignored the fact that many individuals who experience same-sex attractions are dissatisfied with the situation and seek professional help in aligning their thoughts and behaviors with their convictions and faith. (Yeah, they seek help because they are confused and upset by assholes like you ridiculing, beating and judging them.) In short, many who experience homosexual temptations and impulses are responding to the Gospel message that unwanted same-sex attractions can be overcome (And often with the help of a friendly pastor who quietly rapes them and overcomes all over their faces.). And as they seek pastoral and professional psychological counseling, they find that change and transformation are, indeed, possible. (Glory be to God who apparently hates you for making you the way he did.)
Copyright © 2008 Focus on the Family.
What is evident, however, is that the American Psychiatric Association was simply agreeing with pro-homosexual activists (Of course they agree, the faggots can be very persuasive with their anal/oral torture techniques you know) and with the American Psychological Association, which had passed a similar, but broader, resolution in 1997. Here, the American Psychological Association claimed that treatment for unwanted homosexual behavior is harmful, unethical and unsuccessful. Of note, this resolution also supports the client's right to self-determination and autonomy – calling for psychologists to "respect the rights of others to hold values, attitudes and opinions that differ from their own." Clearly, this would include religious beliefs upholding the biblical view that God's created intent for sexual expression is limited to a monogamous, covenantal marriage relationship between one man and one woman. (Oooh, this is their big "Ah-ha!" moment, but it is meaningless because the APA is not denying this point. Sure you Christian assholes can have your opinion of God's intent for sexual expression- isn't it for a man and woman to shit on each other in the presence of no less than two farm animals?- but you don't have the right to force that belief on anyone else. Why can't you understand that?)
Significantly, both groups ignored the fact that many individuals who experience same-sex attractions are dissatisfied with the situation and seek professional help in aligning their thoughts and behaviors with their convictions and faith. (Yeah, they seek help because they are confused and upset by assholes like you ridiculing, beating and judging them.) In short, many who experience homosexual temptations and impulses are responding to the Gospel message that unwanted same-sex attractions can be overcome (And often with the help of a friendly pastor who quietly rapes them and overcomes all over their faces.). And as they seek pastoral and professional psychological counseling, they find that change and transformation are, indeed, possible. (Glory be to God who apparently hates you for making you the way he did.)
Copyright © 2008 Focus on the Family.
Not too implying I'm gay at this point.
PS> ANYONE can make a comment on my blog now. You no longer need to be registered or will endure any of that word verification bullshit.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Hey, idiots, stop having fucking children already!
Global warming 'irreversible' for next 1000 years: study
WASHINGTON (AFP) – Climate change is "largely irreversible" for the next 1,000 years even if carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions could be abruptly halted, according to a new study led by the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).
The study's authors said there was "no going back" after the report showed that changes in surface temperature, rainfall and sea level are "largely irreversible for more than 1,000 years after CO2 emissions are completely stopped."
NOAA senior scientist Susan Solomon said the study, published in this week's Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal, showed that current human choices on carbon dioxide emissions are set to "irreversibly change the planet."
Researchers examined the consequences of CO2 building up beyond present-day concentrations of 385 parts per million, and then completely stopping emissions after the peak. Before the industrial age CO2 in Earth's atmosphere amounted to only 280 parts per million.
The study found that CO2 levels are irreversibly impacting climate change, which will contribute to global sea level rise and rainfall changes in certain regions.
The authors emphasized that increases in CO2 that occur from 2000 to 2100 are set to "lock in" a sea level rise over the next 1,000 years.
Rising sea levels would cause "irreversible commitments to future changes in the geography of the Earth, since many coastal and island features would ultimately become submerged," the study said.
Decreases in rainfall that last for centuries can be expected to have a range of impacts, said the authors. Regional impacts include -- but are not limited to -- decreased human water supplies, increased fire frequency, ecosystem change and expanded deserts.
Not too fucking sick of breeders.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Why the fuck did I buy so many DVDs?
It's something Spanish Johnny and I discuss all the time.
Jurassic Park (saw part of it on tv recently. This movie fucking sucks)
Slap shot (unopened for some reason, awesome movie)
The Lord of the Rings trilogy (two unopened)
Tigerland (gay much??)
Laving Las Vegas
Short Cuts
Swimming with Sharks
Office Space (it's on cable every 5 fucking minutes)
Seinfeld seasons 1-6 (ditto), though I am considering buying season 9 for my favorite episode ever- The Merv Griffin set which I will watch over and over again.
Shakespeare in Love (huh??)
Amadeus
The Patriot (yes, Mel Gibson's American Revolution-themed Braveheart)
Being John Malkovich
DVD's I watch very often that I bought and do not regret:
Mr. Show (all 4 seasons_)
Jackass (all of them)
Arrested Development (all seasons)
Strangers with Candy (all seasons)
Bruce Springsteen - Live in New York City
Bruce Springsteen - Live in Largo, MD 1978 (bootleg)
Phish - It
Phish- Bittersweet Motel
You can count on me
The Straight Story
Close Encounters of the third kind
Boogie Nights
And that one of your mother blowing me
Not too mind-numbingly boring and mundane and yet fascinating and boner inducing at the same time.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I don't want to get too political here but holy fuck is this guy cool or what?
and not just because he smokes, but more because of awesome shit like this:
By JENNIFER LOVEN, AP White House Correspondent
24 mins ago
WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama's first public act in office Wednesday was to institute new limits on lobbyists in his White House and to freeze the salaries of high-paid aides, in a nod to the country's economic turmoil.
Announcing the moves while attending a ceremony in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building to swear in his staff, Obama said the steps "represent a clean break from business as usual."
The pay freeze, first reported by The Associated Press, would hold salaries at their current levels for the roughly 100 White House employees who make over $100,000 a year. "Families are tightening their belts, and so should Washington," said the new president, taking office amid startlingly bad economic times that many fear will grow worse.
Those affected by the freeze include the high-profile jobs of White House chief of staff, national security adviser and press secretary. Other aides who work in relative anonymity also would fit into that cap if Obama follows a structure similar to the one George W. Bush set up.
Obama's new lobbying rules will not only ban aides from trying to influence the administration when they leave his staff. Those already hired will be banned from working on matters they have previously lobbied on, or to approach agencies that they once targeted.
The rules also ban lobbyists from giving gifts of any size to any member of his administration. It wasn't immediately clear whether the ban would include the traditional "previous relationships" clause, allowing gifts from friends or associates with which an employee comes in with strong ties.
The new rules also require that anyone who leaves his administration is not allowed to try to influence former friends and colleagues for at least two years. Obama is requiring all staff to attend to an ethics briefing like one he said he attended last week.
Obama called the rules tighter "than under any other administration in history." They followed pledges during his campaign to be strict about the influence of lobbyist in his White House.
"The new rules on lobbying alone, no matter how tough, are not enough to fix a broken system in Washington," he said. "That's why I'm also setting rules that govern not just lobbyists but all those who have been selected to serve in my administration."
In an attempt to deliver on pledges of a transparent government, Obama said he would change the way the federal government interprets the Freedom of Information Act. He said he was directing agencies that vet requests for information to err on the side of making information public — not to look for reasons to legally withhold it — an alteration to the traditional standard of evaluation.
Just because a government agency has the legal power to keep information private does not mean that it should, Obama said. Reporters and public-interest groups often make use of the law to explore how and why government decisions were made; they are often stymied as agencies claim legal exemptions to the law. "For a long time now, there's been too much secrecy in this city," Obama said. He said the orders he was issuing Wednesday will not "make government as honest and transparent as it needs to be" nor go as far as he would like. "But these historic measures do mark the beginning of a new era of openness in our country," Obama said. "And I will, I hope, do something to make government trustworthy in the eyes of the American people, in the days and weeks, months and years to come."
Not too first day-ey
Obama freezes salaries of some White House aides
By JENNIFER LOVEN, AP White House Correspondent
24 mins ago
WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama's first public act in office Wednesday was to institute new limits on lobbyists in his White House and to freeze the salaries of high-paid aides, in a nod to the country's economic turmoil.
Announcing the moves while attending a ceremony in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building to swear in his staff, Obama said the steps "represent a clean break from business as usual."
The pay freeze, first reported by The Associated Press, would hold salaries at their current levels for the roughly 100 White House employees who make over $100,000 a year. "Families are tightening their belts, and so should Washington," said the new president, taking office amid startlingly bad economic times that many fear will grow worse.
Those affected by the freeze include the high-profile jobs of White House chief of staff, national security adviser and press secretary. Other aides who work in relative anonymity also would fit into that cap if Obama follows a structure similar to the one George W. Bush set up.
Obama's new lobbying rules will not only ban aides from trying to influence the administration when they leave his staff. Those already hired will be banned from working on matters they have previously lobbied on, or to approach agencies that they once targeted.
The rules also ban lobbyists from giving gifts of any size to any member of his administration. It wasn't immediately clear whether the ban would include the traditional "previous relationships" clause, allowing gifts from friends or associates with which an employee comes in with strong ties.
The new rules also require that anyone who leaves his administration is not allowed to try to influence former friends and colleagues for at least two years. Obama is requiring all staff to attend to an ethics briefing like one he said he attended last week.
Obama called the rules tighter "than under any other administration in history." They followed pledges during his campaign to be strict about the influence of lobbyist in his White House.
"The new rules on lobbying alone, no matter how tough, are not enough to fix a broken system in Washington," he said. "That's why I'm also setting rules that govern not just lobbyists but all those who have been selected to serve in my administration."
In an attempt to deliver on pledges of a transparent government, Obama said he would change the way the federal government interprets the Freedom of Information Act. He said he was directing agencies that vet requests for information to err on the side of making information public — not to look for reasons to legally withhold it — an alteration to the traditional standard of evaluation.
Just because a government agency has the legal power to keep information private does not mean that it should, Obama said. Reporters and public-interest groups often make use of the law to explore how and why government decisions were made; they are often stymied as agencies claim legal exemptions to the law. "For a long time now, there's been too much secrecy in this city," Obama said. He said the orders he was issuing Wednesday will not "make government as honest and transparent as it needs to be" nor go as far as he would like. "But these historic measures do mark the beginning of a new era of openness in our country," Obama said. "And I will, I hope, do something to make government trustworthy in the eyes of the American people, in the days and weeks, months and years to come."
Not too first day-ey
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Good riddance, you worthless pieces of shit.
Thanks for fucking everything up, you fucking incompetent fucking douchebags.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
To the lovely young woman on the Mass Pike this morning
....who nearly got into three accidents because she was looking down in her lap for 10 straight miles as she text messaged; fuck you, you selfish fucking whore. I cannot pray hard enough for your painful and untimely death.
(PS> I assume my one and only avid reader didn't fall for my brilliant use of the medium as a punch line to my last post and really think I was changing the address of my site. Spanish Johnny, will you please write a comment to tell me how funny I am? I need the affirmation in the worst way.)
Not too eh.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Mega Superior Gold is moving to a new address.
I wanted to clean up my look a bit and tone down some of the more flashy and confusing elements in the design of my blog so I've moved on. Follow me to the clean and spiffy new site here.
Not too Indianny
Saturday, January 10, 2009
One of the best movies I have ever seen.
It joins many other films which were lucky enough to have me bestow upon them the honor of the "one of the best movies I have ever seen" title, including:
Platoon
Jaws
Dazed and Confused
American Beauty
The Straight Story
You can count on me
Finding Nemo
Goodfellas
Godfather 1 & 2
Wall-E
The Exorcist
Schindler's List
Boogie Nights
The Silence of the Lambs
and of course,
Sisterhood of the traveling pants
Not too arrogant to assume my opinion will affect anybody.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Fatties can't complain about going to the gym.
I got on the elevator today and just as the door was closing a huge woman decided to jam her way in with such urgency it was as if taking the stairs would've been the only option left after those doors closed. God she was huge. And so out of breath. But of course this did not stop her from opening her huge mouth to speak with a co-worker. Here's how the conversation went.
FATTY McFATFAT: Oh my God, I'm so tired.
CO-WORKER: Hi Sheila.
Then Fatty bumps someone "accidentally" with her bag.
FATTY McFATFAT: I'm sorry. It's this damn gym bag. It's so big.
CO-WORKER- (trying so hard not to seem surprised that Fatso went to the gym) How was the gym?
FATTY McFATFAT: Not bad. It's just that when I leave, even after I shower, I'm still dripping wet with sweat.
At this point, the entire elevator did a collective "ewwww" in their minds. I know it. Okay, well, I did. Anyway, the point is this great, big fat person (a nod to Silence of the Lambs there) just couldn't wait to talk about going to the gym. And this was January 5th. I guarantee she'd only been going for 5 days at the most, after she made her tearful New Year's resolution to lose weight yet again. And its more likely that she'd only gone once or twice since the beginning of the new year. But oh she had to let the whole elevator know about her ordeals in the gym. You know, make it sound like it was a regular activity for her. But doesn't she know that because of her comically sized body that no one believes her? Just go to the gym and shut the fuck up, lady. You're gross and the less we know about you the better. If you do insist on letting everyone in an elevator know about your life at least be honest about it. Something like, "I just went to the gym where I walked on a treadmill at the slowest possible pace for thirteen minutes while holding on to the rails. Now I'm gonna go upstairs and eat six 300 calorie nutrition bars because I've fooled myself into thinking they are the kind of fuel my mbody needs after a workout but the truth is I just like the chocolate cookie crunch. Then I'm gonna go home and curl up on the couch , watch Sex and the City and swallow an entire turkey."
Now listen, I know it seems as though I'm coming off very cruel here but believe me I'm not, because I'm a fat fuck too and fat on fat crime isn't a crime at all.
This was NOT the woman in the elevator, by the way, but this is the kind of honesty I expect from her. This fat chick rules. Great fucking shirt. Totally respect her. I guarantee she doesn't complain about going to the gym.
Not too willing to fuck for cake.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Honestly, do women really even want a huge cock?
Actually, this post has nothing to do with women and huge cocks. I just wanted something to grab your attention. Happy new year, faggots!
Not too grabby.
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