Really? Groundhog Day? You're still gonna go through with that, huh? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why does the media cover this fucking gay retarded event where they scare the shit out of some defenseless groundhog for hours on end for absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Why does this ridiculous tradition continue? Are there still assholes who really believe we'll have an early Spring if the "Punxsutawney Phil" sees his fucking shadow? If just the idea of it doesn't seem gay enough to you, then let me direct your attention to the exact location where this event occurs: Gobbler's Knob. That's right, the clever dipshits of Panxsutawney, PA call the little knoll on which they hold this ridiculous event "Gobbler's Knob." Look it up. I'm not making that up. If that's still not dumb enough for you, just have one look at this fucking asshole (below). Are you kidding me with the old-timey mustache and clothing? You fucking sorry douche of a man. Will you really go through this day proud of what you accomplished? God, I would love it if that fucking creature just chewed a huge new asshole in that your face.
"Look at me, Dad. I bet you're proud of me now!!
What's that you say? Groundhog Day is for children? It's to let them feel like there's still some magic in the world? GO FUCK YOURSELF! Kids have enough fucking magic with the endless amounts of garbage you shove in front of their faces to entertain them and, let's be honest, to keep them from sucking the life-force out of you with their constant neediness.
Never one to be outdone, even the mayor of New York City, the 5th largest city in the world, Michael Bloomberg, lowers himself to the shameful exercise of torturing an animal for no apparent reason other than entertaining that hideous kid behind him.
Never one to be outdone, even the mayor of New York City, the 5th largest city in the world, Michael Bloomberg, lowers himself to the shameful exercise of torturing an animal for no apparent reason other than entertaining that hideous kid behind him.
No, this seems like a good use of the state's money. To watch this asshole get bit by the groundhog and then torture it by trying to grab it like a predator, scroll down inexplicably far below this sentence to the video.
| Groundhog Day |
