Holy shit, stop the fucking presses!!!!!!

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I don't know if you guys are already aware of this, but according to a woman on the elevator this morning, today is Monday. Now, everybody calm down. I know this is huge news worthy of announcing to no one in particular on an elevator but we must remain calm because this same well-informed woman also noted that "Friday will come soon enough." Phew. What a relief.



Too bad her death won't come soon enough.