Guess who's the biggest faggot in the world?

As I left work last night I crossed paths with a couple of construction workers. They were carrying Makita tool boxes. I was carrying a bag of cupcakes from a bakery called Lulu's. They stopped and let me cross in front of them. "Ladies first," I imagined their internal monologues to be saying. Followed by "there goes the biggest faggot in the world." 

And they were right. I hate being such a pussy.  

Not too cupcakey. 

How about this weather?

"How about this weather?"

How about fuck you, Mr. normally-uptight-but-not-today-because-you-made-a-little-money-on-a-call-order-for-tomato-futures-faggot-pinstripe-business-suit-douche-in-the-elevator-trying-to-be-funny? I hope you die of heatstroke. 

No, I'm pleasant to be around.