Relax, Tiger. It's not that big of a deal. Calm the fuck down, okay? And you too, Mr. old golf announcer. Or how about every one in the crowd? Or, worse, the fucking losers at home watching it on tv who suddenly pumped their fists and screamed like girl scouts seeing a hairy penis for the first time...I mean slimy slug, a slimy slug for the first time. Seriously, with so many God-awful things happening in this world how can people honestly be so excited by this millionaire douchebag's ball going in a hole? Oh I know sports dicks will say "well it's because such awful things are happening that we need a release like this." Actually, that's inaccurate. A sports guy would react like this (screaming, with veins on the forehead pulsing) "How many people died? GO CELTICS!!! GARNETT FUCKING RULES! " Not that I'm so incredibly in-tune with the plight of the people of Darfur (hey, isn't that the name of Spanish Johnny's German-themed anthropomorphic characters nightclub?) but I do think that getting orgasmic over a twelve-foot putt is kinda like spitting in he face of a distended-bellied, fly-faced kid in Africa. Or South America. Or, gasp!, America. That's right, people are starving in America. Am I bugging you? I don't mean to bug ya. But I digress. My point is, for all the "winning" involved in professional sports it sure seems to be beloved by a huge amount of losers. But more on them later. Until then I've got some SPringsteen to go listen to. WOO-HOO, BORN IN THE U.S.A FUCKING RULES!!!!!!!
Not too insightful.
